he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
