ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
BRING THE BAGELS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
