Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
