Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
