it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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