Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
