oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
