I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This baby is an asshole
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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