oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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