I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
