True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
