Your tits are I can't wait for
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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