im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
