The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
