I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
