Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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