He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
