just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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