i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
