They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ugly people sure do ruin things
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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