ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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