i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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