when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
