I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
