we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
