3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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