I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
