New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
