Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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