She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
