That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
