I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
