All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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