take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
