If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
