There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
