im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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