She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
