jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
