Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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