I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
