Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
