so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
