This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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