remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Welp...herpes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
