jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just high enough for therapy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
