I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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