We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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