Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
