I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
